There are no rules governing long-distance caregiving, but planning, information gathering, organization, and communication usually lead to successful outcomes. A caregiving plan should evolve gradually from knowledge of your loved one’s needs, what they will accept, and what you can realistically manage.
In addition to open discussions with your loved one, a visit to his or her home is essential for gauging current needs and changes over time. Noticing changes in activities and responsibilities can help you identify how to best direct your care even when you are at home. Pay attention to declines in daily activities (eg, bathing, eating, dressing), support activities (eg, laundry, shopping, bill paying), medication management and medical appointments, cognitive and emotional health, and safety (eg, tripping hazards, poor lighting).
Set realistic goals for your visits, and determine exactly what must be done during the current visit while saving other activities for the next. Be sure to share some time unrelated to caregiving as well. To better coordinate and communicate between visits, collect local telephone books and maintain a list of community resources. Obtain numbers and Internet addresses for all important contacts, including pharmacists, doctors, and banks, in your loved one’s area.
Not Going it Alone: Caregiver Resources
It is difficult or impossible to deliver long-distance care without support. Most caregivers hold full- or part-time jobs, have homes of their own to manage, and have relationships with their own families and friends that need to be nurtured. Costs for caregiving visits may be prohibitive as well. If you cannot help with care alone, a team is needed. It can consist of siblings, other family members, close friends or neighbors, and professionals who are near the loved one or able to share responsibilities in some way.
In family discussions, list the tasks at hand and assign them according to abilities and willingness. All parties, including the person needing care, should air feelings, ask direct questions, and listen to others during planning.
Having a support system and carefully planning activities can help ease the added challenges of distance for you and your loved one. For more information on long-distance caregiving and other caregiving issues, contact:
The National MS Society
1.800.344.4867, www.nmss.org
Family Caregiver Alliance
1.800.445.8106, www.caregiver.org
National Alliance for Caregiving
www.caregiving.org
National Family Caregivers Association
1.800.896.3650, www.nfcacares.org
