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Providing care for someone with multiple sclerosis (MS) may involve only occasional help with errands or cleaning…or it may require the kind of tasks that require almost all of a person’s time. People who are not primary caregivers may believe they have little to offer these caregivers except admiration and respect for their devoted work. You may worry about being intrusive or unprepared for giving help, or you may feel constrained financially. The truth is, you can actively care for the caregiver, or even the person with MS, in a host of uncomplicated and inexpensive ways. The simplest gesture of support is likely to be disproportionately helpful and appreciated.
Several principles should guide any efforts to help: 1) be aware that caregivers tend not to ask for help and may even decline offers, but what they accept can greatly reduce their anxieties and sense of isolation; 2) be clear and honest about what you can do; 3) be part of a community or team of friends and family members available to help; and 4) if you never do more than let a caregiver know you are there for him or her, you will have made a difference. Below is a list of ways you can help support the caregiver of someone with MS. The ability to perform some of these tasks will depend upon your comfort level and the nature of your relationship with the caregiver, and you should always discuss what you want to do with the caregiver ahead of time.
Provide companionship
- Listen attentively to how the caregiver is feeling, and be prepared to hear expressions of anger, guilt, frustration, and possibly depression and anxiety
- Stay in touch by phone on a regular basis
- Remind the caregiver that regular breaks prevent “burnout”
- Go out for walks or exercise together
Give personal care and comfort
- Offer a manicure or pedicure
- Cook dinner while the caregiver naps
- Stop by with a homemade treat or beverage
Help with heavier work
- Rearrange a bedroom or other room in the home to accommodate a wheelchair or assistive device
- Arrive with a toolbox and help install:
- a set of handrails
- a wheelchair ramp
- grab bars in the shower
- Rake leaves and shovel snow
- Vacuum and wash the car
- Hang and repack holiday decorations
Support family routines
- Handle Saturday chores so a teenage caregiver can shop or hang out with friends
- Walk the dog, empty the litter box, or clean the birdcage
- Pick up and return library books and CDs
- Manage post office errands and grocery purchases
- Troubleshoot computer problems
Organize household finances
- Balance the checkbook
- Keep tax documents organized, and enlist someone skilled at completing forms
- Keep a file on funding sources for equipment/ remodeling for people with disabilities and programs that can assist with paying for prescriptions
Manage medical care
- Keep track of prescriptions and refill schedules
- Read and file prescription and medical receipts
- Understand and explain home care services, nursing home care, and hospice care
Many more ideas are listed in the **Online Exclusive**.
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